Proactive Planning vs. Anxiety: How To Problem Solve While Staying Present During COVID-19

In my last post I talked about the different ways to take care of your mental health during this pandemic. One of the points I mentioned was the importance of staying present during this time. This is a time of serious unknowns: we have no idea how long this will go on for or the repercussions. Because everything is so unclear, it's important to stay present and recognize when your mind is jumping too far ahead. 

When talking about staying present, a common question can be, how do I plan ahead if I'm just focusing on today? There are problems and issues that we need to plan for. Even if they are not directly affecting us today, they will be soon and we need a plan. However, this is not how our brains work. Our brains will focus constantly and incessantly on an issue. And they will begin to focus on problems that may never occur or are highly unlikely to occur. Our brains are built for survival, so they will latch on to any problem that they believe will be a danger to us, whether that is physical or emotional danger. Because we are in a pandemic, our brains are on high alert. They are going to be running wild, thinking about all kind of crazy scenarios. We can't blame our minds; they're just trying to protect us. Try to recognize when this is occurring as a way to step back and not be owned by the thoughts. 

"What if" thoughts are particular culprits for jumping ahead. A "what if" thought is any thought that starts with "what if" and jumps ahead to a possibility. Like, what if I lose my job? Or what if this goes on for several months? You might think, but isn't that good? I'm planning ahead! The issue with "what if" thoughts is that they focus on problems that are either unlikely to occur or are out of our control. 

Here is a practice for ways to distinguish anxious thoughts from actual problems you need to plan for: 

• Write a list of everything you are worried about. Be specific and detailed. 
• Read through everything you wrote. Now, is there anything on that list that is very unlikely to occur? If you had to put a number to it, is the chance of it occurring less than 50%? Less than 20%? If so, cross it out. Do that for anything else on the list that is highly unlikely to occur. 
• Look through the list again and is there anything written on there that is out of your control? Meaning there is nothing you can actually do about it? Remember, you are only in control of your actions. For example, if you are worried about a family member getting sick: you can recommend ways to avoid infection, offer to buy preventative supplies (like a face scarf) and keep social distance. But there is nothing you can physically do to stop someone from getting sick. We are only in control of our own actions. 
• For any problems that are on your list but are out of your control, cross them out. 
• Take a look at the list again. Is there any other problems written down?
• For any remaining problems, go through each and write down a plan for how you will address this problem. Think about what you can actually do to address this issue. Come up with clear action steps. For example, if you are worried about finances for this month, write a budget that includes all of your expenses and your anticipated income. 
• If you find while doing this that you are not able to come up with anything you can actually do to address this problem, chances are it belongs in the unrealistic or out of control category. In that case, cross it out. 
• For all the problems you did cross out: acknowledge them, take a few deep breathes and say aloud to yourself "I accept it is out of my control. I'm going to focus on the now." 
• If your mind keeps going to these worry thoughts throughout the day, once again take a deep breath and repeat your mantra. You don't have to say what I wrote, find what feels comforting to you. What could a good friend say to you that would be helpful? Try saying that to yourself. 
• If you're still struggling, I'm a fan of movement as medicine. Shake it off, go for a walk (while keeping social distance), have a solo dance party, just move. You can also write down these out of control problems again, then crumple up the paper or rip it into tiny pieces. 

Try not to get frustrated at yourself if you are struggling and your mind keeps going back to these problems. This is a high stress time and it's normal to feel on edge. Be patient and kind to yourself; we all need some of that right now. 

​